Mary Jane

or, Ruby's gross gluttony










It was the night after Halloween, 2007.
Like most people in our friendly small town, I had bought candy to have on hand for the neighborhood 'trick or treaters'. Not many came to the door that year however, and we were left with a surplus of sweets. In particular, there was an entire unopened bag of old fashioned gooey Mary Janes. I had decided I would use the Mary Janes as occasional special rewards for the little ones whenever their behavior was exemplary. Unfortunately this was not to be.












Apparently while I was out, Ruby and small friend Wu discovered the pristine bag of Mary Janes on their own. Using my computer (and flagrantly breaking house rules), they went online and did a little 'research' on Mary Jane and found out all kinds of things. They began eating their way through the entire bag of candy, oblivious to the inevitable consequences of such gross overindulgence. Ruby forgot the warnings in her beloved old German book
Cautionary Tales for Children.
















Thus it was that the Mary Janes were devoured in a disgusting frenzy.




















This was the pathetic scene I came home to.









Small friend Wu consumed a more moderate sugar "fix" and was spared the awful belly ache Ruby suffered, though we all were treated to her highly dramatic exhibition of moaning. Here Wu tries to comfort Ruby while in the throes of her malaise.


Needless to say, Ruby was sent straight to bed. A galvanized bucket was left next to the bed...just in case.













You might think this was the end of Ruby's ill-fated experimentation with Mary Janes...but you'd be wrong. In fact, the worst was yet to come.


It seems Miss Ruby did all kinds of web-surfing while doing her 'research' unsupervised that day, and picked up goodness knows what kind of information that clearly had a bad influence on her. I was particularly dismayed to discover that she even knew to clear the browser history before logging out hastily when I arrived home. !!













The events of Halloween, combined with some knowledge of Ruby's spotty background, thankfully prepared me a bit for what came next.










Several days later while working at my desk, I faintly smelled something burning downstairs. Alarmed, I followed my nose to the mudroom where I crept up quietly and saw Ruby in my windowsill cactii conservatory.....
















Well this was simply intolerable behavior. Ruby was confined to her room and grounded for two weeks. She also was required to watch several documentaries on the evils of smoking and addictive/compulsive behaviors which I managed to get on loan from our local library.
















I am hoping that Ruby will do some sincere self-examination and come to understand the grave consequences if she continues down this path of delinquent behavior. I just know she has it in her to be good.








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