Caught on film recently was this incident which occurred at a bucolic outdoor musical gathering in Pennsylvania. The fellow at center, a certain Norman P. (formerly of lovely Chatham, New York) attempted to surreptitiously join a group of respectable musicians who were seriously exploring the subtle nuances of "Huldy in the Sink Hole". Here, fiddler Jacques is first noticing the unwelcome presence of the usurper. Later, an unpleasant disturbance erupted, followed by the eventual ejection of the ego-bruised intruder. His so-called "instrument" was confiscated and sat upon by various fiddlers, causing much merriment amongst onlookers.
||It is extremely important to understand the grave social consequences that unseemly behavior and improper grooming can have on the Merrywangster. Here we can see a lovely example of a lady of fine breeding and upstanding morals demonstrating obvious but discreet indications of interest in this well set up merrywang.
On the other hand, this young woman of questionable background shown "playing her banjo", is of the sort one might expect to find associating with barstool-playing merrywang "poseurs".
Be advised: If you insist on playing a barstool
instead of a true merrywang,
then the only fiddlers who'll want to play
with you will likely be of this caliber:
Unfortunately, many people have wasted their efforts attempting to tap-tune calfskin heads that they've mistakenly tacked onto barstools, looking for that ever elusive "pre-wang" sound. A regretful waste of time and money!
Such barstools are usually then only suitable for use as minstrel banjos.
"Thank You For Showing Me The Bitter Truth"
Mr. Patrick Low of Canada writes us: If my testimonial can deliver even one barstool player out of his or her
delusions, if I can turn one bucktoothed yokel into a dashing babe-magnet,
then it would all have been worthwhile.....
"Banjo? or....FIRE HYDRANT???"Rob Gilbert of New Jersey writes:
Dear Ms Harmonia,
I was reading your page on the Hightone Headknockers with mild amusement when suddenly a note of self-doubt crept into my bones. I hurriedly picked up my banjo and stood in front of a full length mirror and, to my horror, I realised that not only have I been playing a flattened barstool for years but that my countenance was asinine to the extreme. No wonder my tone was so ghastly! And I haven't had a date in ages.
Anyway, I bought a fedora and some pinstriped suits and got rid of all my polyester pants. I'm also ordering an openback banjo from Jean-Paul Gaultier in Paris. As to my slack-jawed hillbilly visage, a friend said that a few botox injections into the right face muscles will make me look like Russell Crowe's better-looking younger brother--if he had one.
If the chicks start lining up to touch the hem of my garments, I'll only have you to thank.
Dear Mr. Low,
I'm so glad that my webpage information was the cause of your realizing your horrible error.
Sounds like you should get plenty of chicks soon, what with that fedora and all. Not sure about those bottocks injections however..... I see lots of rock stars with that vacant "slackjawed look" and they seem to get lots of girls.
Just happened across your website, and it is one of the greatest things I have found since the Onion!
My wife and I are looking for a really cool banjo stand to show off our bright red custom Deering 6-string, named "The Banjo Diane." It's really heavy, so we need something very sturdy. But we want something with lots of charm and unique appeal. Have already searched all over the Web and still haven't seen anything unique and really cool. Any ideas?
Hope you're not offended by the fact that we have a 6-string banjo--please note I did not dare to call it a merrywang. I do also have a merrywang so I'm not a totally frivolous person.
Thanks for listening!
I think you'd better make sure it's not actually a BARSTOOL that some shyster sold you as a "6 string banjo". Also, since it is bright red and "really heavy", are you absolutely sure it's not really a FIRE HYDRANT that they sold you??? If indeed it is a fire hydrant and not a real banjo, then you won't need to spend lots of money on a stand, because it won't likely tip over anyway. And also you'd want to keep it in a case rather than out on a stand if you have dogs.
Good luck to you,
"Low-life Fiddler Ousted in Hamburg, Respectability Restored"Mr. Doehler of Germany writes:
I just stumbled across your barstool page. It is very valuable
information you provided there.
Like Mr. Patrick Low I got some new insights, the most important
beeing that I have to get rid of my fiddle player who behaves much
like the persons pictured on your page....
Best wishes from Hamburg, Germany
ACTUAL EMAIL RECENTLY RECEIVED BY STRUMELIA HARMONIA CONCERNING THIS PAGE:Mr. Eric Schultz writes:
I was just looking at your website. I have clients who are
looking for barstools and related home decor.
I have several inquiries, so I need to find a reputable
vendor with good selection to work with.
If you can find a time today, when you have a few minutes and
are near your computer, give me a call to see if this is a
Thanks in advance,
Dear Mr. Schultz,
Thank for for thinking of me in relation to your business.
Unfortunately, I myself gave up collecting barstools long ago, and thus have none to offer you. However, I suspect that many of our readers will realize here that they have been playing and buying BARSTOOLS on EBAY for years, thinking they were valuable merrywangs. Perhaps they will be interested in selling you theirs. I'll pass along your contact info to them.
Good luck in your search!
Send YOUR heartfelt testimonial or confession to Strumelia Harmonia at: harmonia (at) taconic.net
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